Men can be so stupid sometimes

Forgive me for using rude words.  Men can be so stupid sometimes. I really feel sorry for those who can not manage their desire of wanting more sex, and can not manage their women while they give in to their sexual desire in secrecy.  Why don’t you also make it into a pleasant advantage for your mate?

My friend Roy is trying to stay in a relationship with Cindy. But he can not enjoy sex with her.  Roy has an ex-girlfriend Gilda who he managed to stay in touch and has sex with from time to time.  But he can not be in a relationship with Gilda because she has bi-polar disorder, and would freak out on him whenever she has a bad day.

Somehow, Roy end up getting into a situation where Gilda texted Cindy in the middle of the night after they had sex, while Roy was still sleeping in her bed.  So you can imaging what he was going to face the next day when he went for the church service where he usually meets Cindy.  Knowing Cindy, I wouldn’t be surprised if one day Roy returns home with a dagger on his back.

What’s wrong with him?  Men should know that there is no hiding things like this from their women, not for long.  And if a man is married with children, he has much more to lose in such situation.

I do not suggest that men should suppress their desire and live in misery for the rest of their lives.  It is impossible and unfair.  Men are made differently from women.  They really would enjoy sex for pure physical reason, and they would prefer to keep changing.

For those who have occasional sex with such man, don’t feel bad that he has no intention to build a future with you.  He does enjoy sex with you as he said, but he has no intention to leave his wife, his children, and a big chunk of his wealth.  And if you think causing trouble is going to help with your situation, you are very wrong.  You are only going to cause him stop having sex with you and go elsewhere.

And for those women who married such a man, don’t worry that he might leave you anytime soon.  But if a woman starts to give her man some drama for such encounter, your action is the only reason for him to give up on you.  WHAT is to be done?

To ask a man not to want more sex is like to ask a woman not to want more love.  So many couple struggle with each other because of this gender difference.  So many marriages were ruined because they could not survive such struggle. So many children were traumatized by their parents’ divorce.  And in turn, they grow up having difficulties settling down in a relationship.  Or, for those who find a way to settle down, they went on repeating their parents’ misery.  Eventually they traumatized their children, and condition the third generation for a life long struggle.  WHERE is the way out?

Why can’t men and women share their desires?  Why should women condemn men for their desire of excitement of sex.  What’s wrong that they want some varieties from time to time?  Sex is supposed to be pleasurable, on more than one level.  It is supposed to be mental and emotional, besides physical.  Human are made to enjoy sex as a form of entertainment, and more.  Otherwise, we would all be like animals which would only care about sex during the mating season.  So, if you think that men should not want to have more variety in their sex life, blame the Creator.  But don’t try to fix what God has created.  You simply can’t.  It is like wanting any of us to eat one dish for our entire life, would you still enjoy your meal after three days of eating the same thing?

I am not suggesting that we should have no discipline in our sexual conduct.  I am saying that we should try to have less limitations with our own sexuality.  After all, sex is highly emotional and spiritual.  There is more to sex than just getting physical pleasure.  It makes people feel close to each other.  So why shouldn’t any of us, men or women, try to use better sex to strengthen the connection with our chosen mate?

But how?

Why don’t we start with exploring each other’s mind, learn about each other’s fantasy, and try to assimilate the other person’s ideas?

Some people have difficulties abandoning their sexual limitation.  It should be accepted and respected by both partners.  At the same time, find ways to resolve it.  I can promise you that whenever you find a way to get over any of your hangups, your will feel so much happier, and so much empowered.  And if you can’t figure out a way by yourself, talk to a professional, or an open-minded friend.  Or start a discussion here anonymously.

There is never an unsolvable problem, if both parties are working towards the same goal.  There is only different solutions to different situations.  We just have to find one that suits your situation.

Next related topic: Women can be too dramatic for their own good

But, something else first…




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