Some years ago I went to a motivation seminar. I remember the speaker said:”Words have power. Beware how you use them. They will affect your life.” I was almost amused at how far-fetched that association was. Then he gave us an example: “Let’s say that someone wants to get a thousand dollars in order to buy a present for his wife. There are two ways to make that statement. One says ‘If I earn a thousand dollars, I will go buy a diamond ring for my wife.’ And the other one says ‘When I earn that thousand dollars, I will go buy a diamond ring for my wife.’ Which one do you think is more likely to succeed?”
I could feel the different sensations those two sentences aroused in me. The first person has doubts that he can’t even pinpoint where it came from. And the second one acknowledges the difficulty ahead, but also knows that it is just a matter of time and effort for him, because he believes that there will be a way, and that he has the will power to get there eventually. I began to pay attention to my wording from then on.
Negative words have negative energy no matter how well you justify the statement. When I observe people’s life, I realize from the words they choose, one can almost spot the focus point of their attention at once. And it has nothing to do with how true the statement is. There were times I would stop a conversation and ‘alter’ couple words for my friends before we continue.
I have a lady friend who is very cheerful, energetic, and enthusiastic about everything she does. She is at a major turning point of her life right now. We had wonderful conversations about how exciting it is to see life from a different angle and to feel her mind constantly expanding to more and more possibilities in life, and how she wish to find her mate that could truly make her happy. And then she said:
“I am happy that I’ve realized… even though life is difficult… now I can… But I can not forget how my first husband abused me. It happened. I need to remember it so I will not get in the same situation again…”
My heart sank to the bottom. I had to stop her right there and then. I told her that if she really need to mention her abused past in any future conversations with anyone, she could try to change the last two sentences to “I am sensitive to abusive situations.” And that’s all she needs to say about her past. She paused for a long second and then said: “You are gooood!” I am so glad that she got that.
Yes, my Dear friend. You can and you will allow that past to fade away. And you don’t need to remember it in order to protect yourself. You have God given subconscious to protect you from those situations happening to you again. If you pay attention ONLY to what you want, you will get it sooner.
This reminded me of another friend’s favorite quote: “Life is difficult.”
This friend of mine also had a very difficult life. From her stories, most of them seemed to be more mentally frightening than technically challenging. I asked her why she kept on using that phrase. She told me that it was a very famous quote by M. Scott Peck, an American psychiatrist and Author. Then she added: “Life IS difficult. It is true. And you don’t want to forget that. By saying it, you are no longer afraid of it. you’ll embrace the reality. That’s when things will change.” But from her voice, I did not hear hope, I heard only acceptance, dread, and profound despair. Whatever she was trying to do by saying that, it didn’t work.
Sorry my Dear. Though I love you deeply, and I often see much wisdom and enlightenment in your spirit more than a lot of people I know, I can not agree with you this time.
I went online to search for that quote, and I found it: “Life is difficult. This is the great truth, one of the greatest truths—it is a great truth because once we see this truth, we transcend it.” together with several other quotes, like: “Problems do not go away. They must be worked through…” Why didn’t she quote THAT?!!
Here is another quote from the same person: “The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers” Great statement of a psychological fact. But I am afraid in this case, he was more of a researcher, who collects data and draws conclusions, rather than a psychiatrist, who knows how to direct the mind to go to a more desirable way.
I would try to give a push to the mind that is reading about this part of life. If this is what a person seeks to understand. Instead of causing a passive acceptance and waiting for things to change by the arrival of the darkest moment of life, he/she can use a bit more light in the darkness, some proactive energy, and understanding of the reward of action — Control and Hope:
“The truth is that, if we don’t pay attention, our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers. Now we know that ‘step out of our ruts’ is all it takes, why wait for the ‘deeply uncomfortable moment’ to arrive?“
Do you know how many people are stuck at the “difficult” stage of life and never get to the “transcend” moment because they quote only half of the sentence? Isn’t “step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers” a greater and more meaningful truth to embrace?
Words have power. Watch what you are saying. Know what you are broadcasting to the energy field of your Universe. It will resonate, and give you a feedback loop, and expand. How do you want that to be?!!
— with much Love and Hope for the wellbeing of Humanity