The Art of Pleasure -03 Finding Yourself

Now that we have talked about Communication.  What are you going to communicate to your mate?  What purpose would your mate serve when you are trying to communicate?  You would not believe my findings from my observations.  But I am sure after some time you would realize that my findings are true.

Here is the analogy:
Oftentimes women treat their men as toilets; and would refuse to flush.  Then, they try to wash their face in that toilet, or to feed themselves and their children from it.  From time to time, they’d go to their All Girls Party to talk about what’s stuck on their face.  But interestingly enough, when they talk about what’s stuck on the OTHER person’s face, most of the women feel loving sympathy towards the one being talked about. Therefore the one being talked about often feels loved by her peers, instead of being loved by her mate.

Ok, Let me translate.  A woman easily dumps all the crap of life out of her system by talking to her mate — because she loves him and trusts him.  But she will not give him peace if he complains about anything.  And on top of that, she would not allow him to find a mistress and let it out that way — because she loves him and doesn’t trust him.  Still, she expects him to provide, to please and to protect — like a father would. But how could he make her happy when he is not, for so long?  So when women talk to each other about their lives and their men, they share the frustration and disappointment.  They feel understood and loved by the ones who sympathize with them.  But that could never satisfy the desire of being loved by one’s mate.

On the other hand, oftentimes, a man expects his woman to be like his mother, a chambermaid, and a hole in the wall.  When he can afford a chambermaid for real, he would often forget about the hole in the wall.  And soon the house collapses on him — The partnership falls apart when she finds him cheating.  Do I really have to translate this part?

Do people realize that when parents fight, the ultimate victims are their children? 

Children suffer from their parents’ struggle against each other.  Oftentimes one parent would use the children as weapon to hurt the other parent.  It is very effective.  But unfortunately he/she is hurting the children MORE than hurting the other party. STOP!!!  You are robbing the opportunity of Happiness from your own children and grandchildren.  Do you know how much conflict and struggle you instill into your own children’s psyche by causing him to hate or dislike his own parent — indeed he loves both his parents.  Children pay with their life-long struggle to resolve that internal conflict, and often pass on to their children if they can not successfully resolve the issues.  So, stop involving children in your struggle!  How childishly selfish can you possibly be?!!!

Here, I am not trying to provide any children with the excuse to blame their struggles on their partners.  I wish my readers would see a hint of the possibility that their own action alone can make a difference once their perception and intention is shifted to the right direction  — the direction towards their mutual happiness.

If you truly treat your mate as your partner in life, as the one you choose to share yourself with, and to share your life with, you might be willing to learn and understand the difference in the making of men and women.  Hopefully, you will be willing to accept the differences, find ways to compensate each other’s shortcomings, and act according to that understanding in a more constructive manner.  The truth is, most of the time, what happened that was not agreeable to you was not due to his/her intentional fault.  If you can see that, then there is a chance the two of you may find a mutually agreeable solution.   Staying together is not a must.  But being Friendly and Happy is.

Whether you know it or not, your current life is always the result of what you did before this moment.  I am not saying this to discourage you.  This information is meant to empower you.  Because, your life will start to change the moment you start to do something meaningfully different.  That is power!!!  And if you keep going in this new direction long enough, you may even see a new view, and start to live a new life.  But the key is to understand what you are really doing to your life and to your mate.

Now, guess why your life has not changed much no matter what you did, and no matter how you struggled?  Like a skillful artist painting the same animal from different angles, your mind is leading you to do the same thing in different formats.  Somehow your subconscious needs to recreate certain situations for you to understand something.  There was a monster you once saw in your childhood, and it has never left your mind since.  You kept calling it back, trying to have a closer look at it.  Yet you kept on running away the moment it showed a little bit of itself to you.  In your mind, the monster is getting bigger and scarier over the years.  But I can tell you that, your monster is not nearly as scary as you have imagined.  And it is definitely powerless against you NOW — you are no longer that child from a long time ago.  Would you like me to prove that to you?

When you’ve had enough of your current struggles, you might want something to change.  When you are ready to face yourself as who you really are, and willing to let yourself be examined by YOUR own mind with the utmost self-love and gratitude towards the greatest gift you were ever given, The Gift of Life, give me a call.  I will be honored to be the witness of your transformation, at your beginning of living the happy life you were made to live.  By allowing me to ask questions, and make logical connections, you will have me as the pen and paper you need, to sketch your inner desires into a clear image. Let’s see what your Mr. Monster looks like, and if he is really trying to scare you or please you.  You will find him no more than a circus monster, scary and funny, and quite harmless most of the time.

One thing I must mention before I end this blog.  No matter how hard you examine yourself, you will find a wonderful person in you, covered under layers of Social Valuation.

Of all the suffering souls I have met throughout my life since I was 10 years old — trust me that I have seen many, because people would tell me their stories in painful details, over many generations — I have never seen one soul that I could not consider beautiful and wonderful.  But every so often, he/she would do something so totally out of logic that made his/her soul suffer that I couldn’t help but ask “Why???”  And it was always because he/she acted according to certain Social Valuations, especially those outdated ones.  How can your soul not suffer, when you cage it in the box of Social Valuation that is too small for it?

If you measure everything you do against the degree of gratefulness you feel towards the Gift of Life, you would know what to do.  Ask yourself just HOW grateful you really are to be alive?  Because if you are truly grateful, you wouldn’t try to do things to make your life a suffering experience for your soul.  You would do everything to make it Happy.  What is Social Valuation compare to the Loving Intention of your Creator?  Why should you let other people’s unexamined thoughts rule your world? and to determine your fate?  Why don’t you find out who you really are, and live the life you were made to live, to it’s full potential?

Should I translate this part?  It means “You should do what feels right to you, if you respect yourself as a worthy human being, that your Creator would not regret to have created you.  But you should not be sloppy with how you enjoy the gift you are given, to allow yourself to live a suffering life or to do harm to others.” That’s the Creator’s ultimate judgment encoded in human design, mental, physical, psychological and spiritual.  If we do things against that Judgment, it can only lead to our own extinction.  And you can find proof everywhere, across the land, and throughout human history.

So, find out who you really are, and live a happy and self-respected life.


I started a new business organizing people’s home and office a little while ago.  I often find myself end up making friends and organizing people’s mind.  Come to think of it, it makes total sense!


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My Lord, there is nothing sweeter than the thought of how much I love you, when I think about how you have uncovered my true nature and changed my life.  




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