Marriage. Honestly, what does marriage mean to you? Does it mean Rights? or Obligations? What rights and what obligations do you have in mind? If each of us make a list and exchange it with our partners, do you think your partner will show you a similar list?  Are you willing to do the same for your partner(s)?

Fair is fair. Men have different needs. The detail of the list can not be copied word by word to suit the other person. But there is something equivalent. There is a balancing point to make things work.  And the obligation to make ourselves happy has to take precedence to that of our partners.  This is true for both men and women.  Or, things are going to fall apart sooner or later — Modern people call it “Midlife Crises”.

Marriage, to me, can only be meaningful when it is a promise made by the heart. And don’t be surprised that our hearts may change, especially when we no longer feel loving or being loved.  And Love, like a tree, is a living being.  It needs to be constantly cared and nurtured.  Or it will die.  Ladies, your man is NOT your father — he is not just there to provide you with whatever you need.  And gentlemen, your wife is NOT your mother – not just to keep you and the children fed and your house clean.  You guys are partners in life, to make each other’s life better. And that includes happier heart.

There are plenty people who use marriage as a way to lure or trap the person they want to have.  There are also people who uses the money to do so.  Sad.  Do you think that you are so unlovable that you need to do that?  Don’t you think that you have some good quality that can attract a mate or two?  Money and marriage can NOT keep a person’s heart.  Eventually, he/she is going to wake up and realize that he/she has to do something to make his/her heart happy before he/she dies.  If you rely on your marriage or money to trap your mate, you’ve got a time bomb in your hand.  So, work on improving your quality.  You will be more attractive and much happier.

For one thing, a lot of women need to work intensively on their sex mind, to be more into sex — to give and to get. There is no goal or limit as for how far you need to go to make your mate happy.  You just need to keep going, however slow or fast your progress may be.  But I suspect that you will speed up once you have tasted the benefit of it.  Orgasms have healing power!  Be open-minded, be curious, explore the possibilities, entertain his little fetishes.  Constant progress is the key.

Over the years, I have heard plenty men complained about their women having low interest in sex. (By the way, a lot of times it could be because that the man was not doing it right, and the woman didn’t get much pleasure from it besides feeling being utilized, as part of their duty as a wife.  Cooking and cleaning is a different matter.  But sex is a terrible duty to have.)  Still, I know a lot of men hide from their partners the fact that they watch porn. I even have a friend who wrote me into his will that upon his death, I should just go to his place, take out his computer hard-drives and his porn collection disks!  I am honored, because he considers me non-judgmental.  Yet more profoundly, I am saddened.  I wish each man can find a partner who would accept him as who he is that he doesn’t have to hide his porn watching as a secret.  A woman who watches porn with her man gets a lot more Love, and a lot more Sex.   It pays well.

* * * * * * * *

While searching for photos of “Marriage” I came across an interesting article: 14 Ways to Affair Proof Your Marriage.  Boy! I wish they hadn’t mentioned “Quit the porn“.  Here are some comments related to that:

Jeremy   March 14, 2008 at 9:07 am

Except for the porn bit, which is ridiculous and a total stereotype (My wife and I enjoy porn together quite often, and completely writing it off like you have doesn’t apply to everyone), this article is spot on and very informative. Here’s to ten years with you next month, sweetie. :) 

And the author replied:

“I will concede that not all couples find porn destructive to their marriage, especially when they view it together. I was aiming more at men who look at porn apart from their wife, and use it as an easy way to get off, without having to deal with pleasing their wife and the work that goes into having sex.

Really?!!  Girls! How is it possible to make your marriage work if having sex with you is going to be “work” for him?  Change that.  You can.

Peter    March 18, 2008 at 8:52 pm

I couldn’t disagree with you more about the porn. If your wife has a problem with porn, then, of course, it will cause a riff. However, my wife has no problem with porn. I have a higher sex drive than she does, and frankly, often she is not in the mood (we still have sex very regularly). She views the porn as a substitute, for when she isn’t in the mood (or is away). As long as I’m not turning her down and viewing porn, instead, then I don’t know why there would be a problem with it. And really, watching porn is never as good as actually having sex. We do also watch porn together, on occasion.

And here comes a despaired one. Do you want this to be how your husband feels?

Phil Collins    April 9, 2008 at 3:57 pm

Your article ’14 Ways To Affair Proof Your Marriage’ is a good article and advice for those couples who both are working and committed together. If one is not, then your article is useless. My wife and I have been married 43+ years, 2 fine grown children. A healthy sexual marriage begins mentally, in the head, the rest of the body just follows. The communication I hear constantly from my wife is negative and critical, pointing out what I do wrong. I know I have been a poor husband, I have admitted it, confessed this to my wife verbally and in writing and the response each time was silence. That is ok-as rotten as I have been, I don’t blame my wife. She deserves a better man than me. But good words of advice only work when both are committed to the same goal. There has been no physical contact in over 11 years except for a hug I tried to give to my wife, in a safe place-the kitchen and she acted like a teenager being hug by his mother in front of his friends-she couldn’t wait till the hug was over. I long to enjoy closeness and intimacy and I am not talking about sex but physical contact is just not in her interest. So all the articles in the world say the same thing but if both are not committed to the same goal, it will not work. I expect to go to my grave without ever again knowing and enjoying the beauty of the closeness of a woman.

Here is another honest one:

Art   May 14, 2008 at 7:33 pm

Nice points except for the Drop The Porn suggestion. Men are visual and enjoy looking at it. Some women (especially younger women) enjoy it as well. Instead of denying yourself the wonders of fantasy and enjoyment of all that is on the internet (often for free), learn to be sensitive about it. Don’t shove it in your wife’s face if it’s not her bag of chips.

Explain to her that you’re a man and that you’re visual. Believe it or not, men can enjoy porn alone AND a real woman. Our sex drives are often much higher than women’s and porn is a nice way to calm the beast.

If she insists you drop the porn, she’ll just drive you underground. Of course, she should no more ask you to drop the porn than you’d ask her to stop reading romance novels…


TMo    May 20, 2008 at 7:46 am

I like porn. But so does my girlfriend. We bring it into the bedroom sometimes, and we enjoy watching it together. Mind you this is not something I force into our relationship, it’s actually her idea 90% of the time. I don’t really have anything against it, I don’t think, but she does get a little disappointed if I watch porn alone, like I’m stealing something from her or keeping something from her…

Here is from a woman, instead of cheering along like most other women:

Lisa   June 22, 2008 at 12:50 am

Seems good, except for the porn rule! It’s not like you’ll cheat her with a magazine or fall out of love with her because the piece of paper or DVD is hot.

Especially if your wife will not or cannot do some of the things you have kinks for, using porn can take a lot of pressure off her and remove tension in your relationship.

Women are smart creatures.  If you really want to make your relationship work, instead of just want your ego to be satisfied, find the way.  Your action says what’s more important in your heart.  And you will live to enjoy or suffer the consequences of your action.  It is Your choice.

As for me, I enjoy being a PssssS – His very own ‘Private scientific sexy submissive super Slut’ for my Super MAN. That’s how I love MY man. Because he is mine to love, to tease, to pamper, to cry to, to cry with, to toy with. And I intend to make him the happiest man alive.  And that includes a lot of things people don’t usually think a man should have.  But he is mine to spoil.  And he knows that no one else would spoil him the way I do.  Should I worry about him leaving me? Ha.





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