Everyone says that Communication is the most important thing in a good relationship.  But what does it really mean?

I saw a lot of people started talking to their mate after learning that info, TELLING them what was in their own head.  Still, not a whole lot have changed, maybe even bit more arguments.  Then, there are still so many unhappy family, and traumatized children.

Good communication needs to have a lot more Listening than Telling.  Before we tell our mates what we want, did we hear what they’ve just said?  What did they say that they want?  Even if we are not able to give them all, shouldn’t we try to respond to their wish with our action?  Couldn’t we afford to give some before we get more?  It’s a much better deal if you would believe me.

And if one could learn to use all the sensors to hear what the other one is saying beyond the words can convey, mentally and physically,  one would soon be able to bring heaven to earth any time one desires.

This is how you build Sensitivity.

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I am an artistic lover. To me, there is no such thing called ‘having sex’. But there is this utmost important matter in life called the Art of Pleasure. If everyone treat their life as a piece of art that they are creating, this world would be a very different place. It is guided by our philosophy of life, whether you think you have one or not, and aided by the knowledge that one has. So that broadens the Scope of Work of what is involved in creating this piece of art. When I am not with my children or working, I am creating Pleasure, near or far, on site or off site, in bed or off bed, mental or physical, sexual or otherwise. Sex would only happen when it compliments the scene, and makes that moment complete. Don’t get me wrong, sex doesn’t always have to happen at a romantic moment. In fact a lot of the time it is not the case in my life. It has been part of our communication whenever the emotion is intense, be it happiness, sadness, pain, or guilt. And it doesn’t have to be done in a romantic manner either. Don’t waste time trying to figure out when and where to have sex. Think about how to make each moment more relaxing, more beautiful, more soul touching. Whenever you plan for a pleasant event, clear the rest of the day and beyond. It is great pleasure to enjoy a fun moment with someone who understand the value of pleasure. And if you can enjoy a simple moment to its fullest, then your loved ones would want to extend that moments into eternity. Anything is possible after that. A friend and I were planning to spend a day on the beach. So the exchange goes like this:

HER: Sorry about that – I was in the middle of a very good movie and lunch. Thursday works for me.

ME: Silly, my Dear! Plan what and when you want to do on Thursday…besides the beach. If. Sorry for being a disturb earlier.

HER: You aren’t a disturb :-) Will do – would like to get dolly back to you.

ME: Yes. I will meet you at the subway station, take it home, and then join you in the subway station going to the beach. Any better ideas?

HER: I could walk with you. We could have sushi then the beach/boardwalk. Would love to teach you to swim but Coney Island isn’t the greatest place for that.

ME: Sushi! That’s definitely a better idea! Deal.

HER: We can figure out what to do after that.

ME: But, do prepare to get wet. I don’t swim, but I love to walk in the water…water up to my chest.

HER: Oh that’s good for me – just have to remember to take Advil before – arthritis has been acting up, but if I do that I’m a lot better.

ME: By all means… and bring more for later, just in case you get detained by the beach. Sunset and evening is something most people miss. But that’s a sin.

HER: Oh that will be fun. We can get clams too.

ME: You are brilliant. The true pleasure lies in reaching the orgasmic state of everything we do…even the beach.

HER: Hee!

So this is the basic setting, and the rest is up to you.

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This is The Real Secret. Female Orgasm can be induced by stimulating any senses to it’s proper height, be it Sight (ophthalmoception), Hearing (audioception), Taste (gustaoception), Smell (olfacoception or olfacception), and Touch (tactioception), as well as the sense of Temperature (thermoception),… And I haven’t mentioned the various contact points of the partners’ body parts yet.

Needless to say, you can combine the stimulation of different senses, adding as many as you can manage. And if you run out of arms and legs, get help. ;-) So, can anyone imagine how many ways there could be to make a women cum?

But the real Magic is that the intensity of the orgasm could be dramatically amplified by engaging Every Emotion, be it Happy, Sad, Angry, Guilty, Jealous, FEAR. And the best part is, at the heightened orgasmic state, no matter how she feels about certain matter in the past, the thought of it can only help intensify her Pleasure instead of Anxiety, over and over again, until it loses it’s potency. So…

How to make use of that power of orgasm?

Now, look at Robert Plutchik’s Wheel of Emotions again. Imagine that instead of 8 paddles going towards 8 directions, proper engagement of different emotions with Orgasm can bring all the peddles to the Top.

Who was the genius that came up with the idea of “Positive Association“?

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The Simplest Secret of Sex
What do you think it is?

We can imagine so much…
More Variety
Newer Toys
Unusual Positions
Power Games & Sensation Play
Multiple Partners
Multiple Orgasms
Flawless Erections
Melting Sensuality

We may hope for even more:
Lasting Romance
Spiritual Fulfillment
& Eternal Devotion.

Yet Our Hopes Mean Nothing
If we are not Liked
Accepted
And Enjoyed for Who We Are.

Love is Nice with Sex,
But Liking is Essential.
Remember to Appreciate Your Lovers.
This is the Simplest Secret.

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As a Middle-Aged Woman, this is the time for us to wake up.  Powered by our knowledge that we gained from years of our struggle, we expand our inner and outer world; we defy what have held us captive; we explore what we have never dreamed of.  That’s when we understand what it really means to have Heaven on Earth when you can love one so unconditionally, to connect with the one you love, on so many levels, in so many ways, with so many dimensions.

Who would understand what it really means to be a PssssS – His very own ‘Private scientific sexy submissive super Slut’ of the Sex God?  How can a 25 year-old imagine the kind of sex life a 50 year-old can have?  They are still trying to achieve one orgasm in order to impress their mate.  And we are talking about “the Art of Pleasure” and 5 hours of “Anxiety Purging Massage“ until she passes out!  It can only happen by using the Magic.    This is f***ing HOT!

Most women are made to have multiple orgasms for a prolonged period of time, just like men are created to want new sex all the time.  And one of the most powerful stimuli for women is Emotion, ANY intense emotion.

If you search for “Women multiple prolonged orgasms“,  on Google, you will find a lot of articles and books telling you that MOST women are made to be multi-orgasmic.  And if it is not happening in your life, something is not being done right, and it may not always be the man’s fault.  So dig into this matter and stop saying: “If I am lucky, I would cum once, for xxx seconds. and I was done.” — I used to say that as well, and was very sure that I knew my own body after 30 years.

Unfortunately, most of the articles I read were only trying to teach techniques.  Understanding the techniques of when, where, and what to Touch is only one part of the puzzle, the second part is the giver’s Intention and Sensitivity, and the third is the receiver’s Emotion. The giver’s intention dictates How the touch is going to be, and that intention can amplify the effect to various degrees, depending on how much you apply your intention and sensitivity into your action.  For that, I am NOT able to explain merely with words.  I have to use demonstration.

Most of the time, the receivers are not actively engaging their emotions to intensify their orgasms.  Most people use sex for recreation, to bond with their mates, or just to passively receive pleasure for relaxation.  But prolonged multiple orgasm can do a lot more than that.  It heals.  It can help us to get rid of our Ghosts from the past.

How long can a woman stay in the heightened orgasmic state? For as long as one can physically last, until she passes out into sweet dreams. That’s what I mean when I say “And He, my Sex God, is very good at torturing me with pleasure, hours and hours at a time.”  And personally, I have given someone similar experience for 5 hours straight during a 7-hour “Anxiety Purging Massage”  Orgasm is the most powerful “Positive Association” one can ever have. It works almost like Magic — though not exactly by snapping my fingers.  But it didn’t take much more than that either. Well, ok, it took a lot more time… 7 hours.   Hey, for what it has achieved, it’s worth it.

Some years ago I went to a motivation seminar. I remember the speaker said:”Words have power. Beware how you use them. They will affect your life.” I was almost amused at how far-fetched that association was. Then he gave us an example: “Let’s say that someone wants to get a thousand dollars in order to buy a present for his wife. There are two ways to make that statement. One says ‘If I earn a thousand dollars, I will go buy a diamond ring for my wife.’ And the other one says ‘When I earn that thousand dollars, I will go buy a diamond ring for my wife.’ Which one do you think is more likely to succeed?”

I could feel the different sensations those two sentences aroused in me. The first person has doubts that he can’t even pinpoint where it came from. And the second one acknowledges the difficulty ahead, but also knows that it is just a matter of time and effort for him, because he believes that there will be a way, and that he has the will power to get there eventually. I began to pay attention to my wording from then on.

Negative words have negative energy no matter how well you justify the statement. When I observe people’s life, I realize from the words they choose, one can almost spot the focus point of their attention at once. And it has nothing to do with how true the statement is. There were times I would stop a conversation and ‘alter’ couple words for my friends before we continue.

I have a lady friend who is very cheerful, energetic, and enthusiastic about everything she does. She is at a major turning point of her life right now. We had wonderful conversations about how exciting it is to see life from a different angle and to feel her mind constantly expanding to more and more possibilities in life, and how she wish to find her mate that could truly make her happy. And then she said:

“I am happy that I’ve realized… even though life is difficult… now I can… But I can not forget how my first husband abused me. It happened. I need to remember it so I will not get in the same situation again…”

My heart sank to the bottom. I had to stop her right there and then. I told her that if she really need to mention her abused past in any future conversations with anyone, she could try to change the last two sentences to “I am sensitive to abusive situations.” And that’s all she needs to say about her past. She paused for a long second and then said: “You are gooood!” I am so glad that she got that.

Yes, my Dear friend. You can and you will allow that past to fade away. And you don’t need to remember it in order to protect yourself. You have God given subconscious to protect you from those situations happening to you again. If you pay attention ONLY to what you want, you will get it sooner.

This reminded me of another friend’s favorite quote: “Life is difficult.”

This friend of mine also had a very difficult life. From her stories, most of them seemed to be more mentally frightening than technically challenging. I asked her why she kept on using that phrase. She told me that it was a very famous quote by M. Scott Peck, an American psychiatrist and Author. Then she added: “Life IS difficult. It is true. And you don’t want to forget that. By saying it, you are no longer afraid of it. you’ll embrace the reality. That’s when things will change.” But from her voice, I did not hear hope, I heard only acceptance, dread, and profound despair. Whatever she was trying to do by saying that, it didn’t work.

Sorry my Dear. Though I love you deeply, and I often see much wisdom and enlightenment in your spirit more than a lot of people I know, I can not agree with you this time.

I went online to search for that quote, and I found it: “Life is difficult. This is the great truth, one of the greatest truths—it is a great truth because once we see this truth, we transcend it.” together with several other quotes, like: “Problems do not go away. They must be worked through…” Why didn’t she quote THAT?!!

Here is another quote from the same person: “The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers” Great statement of a psychological fact. But I am afraid in this case, he was more of a researcher, who collects data and draws conclusions, rather than a psychiatrist, who knows how to direct the mind to go to a more desirable way.

I would try to give a push to the mind that is reading about this part of life. If this is what a person seeks to understand. Instead of causing a passive acceptance and waiting for things to change by the arrival of the darkest moment of life, he/she can use a bit more light in the darkness, some proactive energy, and understanding of the reward of action — Control and Hope:

“The truth is that, if we don’t pay attention, our finest moments are most likely to occur when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled. For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort, that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers. Now we know that ‘step out of our ruts’ is all it takes, why wait for the ‘deeply uncomfortable moment’ to arrive?“

Do you know how many people are stuck at the “difficult” stage of life and never get to the “transcend” moment because they quote only half of the sentence? Isn’t “step out of our ruts and start searching for different ways or truer answers” a greater and more meaningful truth to embrace?

Words have power. Watch what you are saying. Know what you are broadcasting to the energy field of your Universe. It will resonate, and give you a feedback loop, and expand. How do you want that to be?!!

— with much Love and Hope for the wellbeing of Humanity

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For 30 years, I had been disappointed trying to have a lasting relationship. I had 18 relationships before this one, ranging from 3 months to 9 years, including a failed marriage.  Each time I treated them seriously.  But eventually things fall apart, for various reasons.

You might think that I was difficult.  But I was not. All my male friends and female friends told me so.  But I did want something very specific.  I want intelligence, kindness, maturity, courage, and fun all at the same time, so we may have a true mental connection.  After going through failure repeatedly for 30 years, I gave up the hope that I would ever find a man who would make me truly happy.  Still there is noting else I could do but kept on meeting new man, one at a time, carefully exam the possibilities. I wish that I can find someone who could make me so happy that I would rather submit myself to his will, and be his slave. No one was able to fulfill that role.  Most of the time, after knowing that person better, I felt mentally lonely.  I end up being so disappointed that I was almost angry at Life.  But finally I lucked out.

So, when I gradually realized that this time, I had found what I had always been looking for, a man who has all what I ask for and much more, I said to him, “I’ve come to realize that I have always been looking for a Master, someone who is so good in so many ways that, I would do anything just to be around.  I think I might have just found one.  Would you be my Master?”  I have never felt so submissive before.  And it feels good.

Oh, submitting to someone like Him is not self-abuse, not in a way as if I were saying “I don’t think I am good enough, so come and abuse me.”  In fact it is a declaration and celebration of triumph, of finding what I have been searching for my entire life.  I would do anything to be here, to be with him, to serve his smallest need as well as the bigger ones, because it makes me happy.  Having him around, my soul is no longer lonely.  My heart is well taken care of.  I will be very happy with him because he will always think of something to excite me, to challenge me, to reward me and I will never stop growing.  I will never be bored again.  :-)

So, my submission was very much felt as a pleasure.  Now, we have been together for 3 years. Can you imagine how much pleasure it has grown into? and how many levels do we communicate with each other?  There was a time I counted — 5+.

For me, Sex with my man is something much more emotional than physical.  He had opened up an entire world for me.  And I am on my way to unite my Mental, Physical, Emotional and Spiritual world into one holistic and harmonious entity through Sex.  It has become a way we communicate thoughts, exchange love, heal ancient trauma, and explore our new horizon.  For him, I want to be not just a slave.  I want to be his PssssS – ‘Private scientific sexy submissive super Slut’  Don’t you think that sounds like some eternal fun?

Men, what’s your best feature when you ‘take care’ of Your women? Hardware or Sensitivity?  Is that a strange question?

Recently I asked some male friends of mine: “When is the last time you made a woman cum by kissing alone? by hugging alone? by only holding her ankle? by squeezing one nipple? by rubbing an ear? by command? by massaging her head? by pulling her hair? by letting her kiss your palm? by turning on a piece of classical music? by just thinking of you? or by letting her to relax on top of your back?” And the answer: “Wow? 90% of them, NEVER!”

The Hardware has expiration date, and limited manner of usage.  Yet the power of Sensitivity could only increase over time.  This is why, a true Master would  eventually end up with a harem when the rest of the ‘hard’ workers retire from the Rat Race.  Oftentimes, the harem would get so crowded that he has to stack them up on top of each other, literally.  And the secret?  Sensitivity.  If you work on her multiSensors, with multiMedia, you would achieve giving her lasting multi-O sooner — effective for 98% of women — a learnable skill for 98% of men.

This is not a fantasy.  It is Reality – though still only few men’s reality.  Most men can benefit from some enhancement of their sensitivity.  But few know that.  It has to start from Love of oneself, love of one’s mate and then beyond.  And hopefully this world would have a chance to be happier eventually.

So many men tried hard to impress others, to please their superior, their family and friends, as if that is going to make themselves profoundly happy.  And I often wonder how their personal life is like.  What really drives a man or a woman to be a workaholic? How many workaholics have a wonderful loving sex life with their mates?  How many of them became workaholics because they could not find true lasting pleasure in their personal life… or should I say, maybe because of that they have given up on achieving a loving sex life with their mates?  They may have tried for too long, far too long and too hard, by holding their action back, by suppressing their desire intended by the Creator, by denying their own right to primal pleasure.  It might have simply made their Life tasteless, and their living boring.

That could be why, when the duty became less heavy, when the children have grown up, when he/she starts to sense the approaching death, many go through ‘Midlife Crises’ — a painful awakening process only those who have experienced would understand.  Yet the rest of the world, even the rest of the family would disdain.  But the fear of death, the fear of missing the last opportunity to experience happiness would have empowered them so much, that they would ignore the entire world in order to chase after their pleasure.  Do they know how to do it better this time?  Yes, at least somewhat.  Do they reach their full potential?  Often not.  How do I know that?  I offer my vast number of still disappointed fellow Middle-Aged women as my witness.

I wish more and more fortunate women would come out and praise those men who made us fortunate; pay close attention to our men’s heartfelt desire, and make our men fortunate as well.  These men deserve the recognition, even if it is just anonymously.  At least our men would know how their loved ones benefit from their wisdom and effort. I want the rest of the population know that there truly is Hope.